Attitude

by Karen Harbour

We are messengers and constantly communicating our Dream of life. We message with words, actions and attitude. We are messaging others, and most importantly, ourselves. We use these messages to bolster or change how we see our Dream, how we see ourselves fitting into that Dream, and how we want others to see us in their Dream.

In trying to convey our Dream, the least reliable mirror in this process is our words. We have accepted or given them symbolic meaning that strays from any authentic concept that they represent or that we are trying to share. We can (and do) constantly manipulate words/symbols to suit a situation, to get our point across, to get others to agree with us, to validate our sense of self-worth – basically, to tell our story. We are so domesticated that we usually do not even see the process; we just keep talking our way down the communication highway as we were taught to do by our particular interactions with family and community.

Our actions, it is said, “..speak louder than words” and often are closer to how we really see our Dream, and how we want to preserve or change it. Each action we take is an agreement that this path is the one we want. We might use words to justify that path, or justify a rejection of that path, but the action itself is the agreement. Even action, however, can be taken reluctantly or with little or no real intent for change. Perhaps we think we “should” do this, or perhaps we are acting on the behest of what we think others want us to do. Our real attitude is behind each action, behind the words we use, behind the way in which we accept or shape our world. Our real attitude determines the outcome of the action.

Our attitude is an unconscious mirror into how we really see the Dream. It is our attitude that is driving the process. We can hide behind words, even actions – but each of us knows, inside, when those words and actions do not send the message of what we truly believe. When our attitude is in conflict with our words and actions, our bodies pay the price with stress, emotional turmoil, pain and illness.

As we become more aware of our own Dream, we can see attitudes in our facial expressions, body language, hesitation or hasty actions, and reactions. We can see attitudes in our word/symbol choices as we tell our stories. We can see ourselves and others saying one thing and doing another – we can see angry postures that belie soothing words – we can see the sales pitch we and others use to convince us of something. We see that, conscious or not, we are constantly messaging ourselves as to our real attitudes and agreements, and how we attempt to keep our world in tact, to keep the Dream alive and in good working order.

As we become truly aware of our own Dream, our attitudes mirror authenticity and our words and actions become loving and respectful to ourselves and others. As we become truly aware of the agreements humanity has made, it becomes easier and easier to effectively communicate our own message of love by slipping past those barriers, and just shining light. We can’t change anyone else’s Dream, and it would be judgmental and disrespectful to try. But we can be the messenger that conveys the authenticity and love in our own attitude. What a glorious message, and when someone is ready to hear it, their world will shake and never be the same. I know, it happened to me.

The first time I met a Toltec teacher and mentor, I was completely unable to process on any rational level what I was seeing and hearing. Gary was exuding love, just love, pure and simple – I had never seen that and had no words for it. His attitude was gentle, loving and respectful to everyone. I waited to see the “real” attitude show – impatience, the slight rolling of the eyes when someone said something that (from my perspective) missed the point he was making, the favoritism with people he had known before – any of the myriad of telltale signs I looked for to protect myself and to reinforce my Dream. Instead, I saw only authenticity in attitude and action. Again, I had no words for it. Even now, I can only use words to begin to convey my sense that I was seeing Truth – for the first time in my life. His attitude was authentic, and that message was far more profound than any words he said or any actions he took.

My world was completely shaken apart, and for the first time I agreed that there was something much bigger, much more powerful than the Dream I knew – I still didn’t have words, but I had a new Dream. And that is all that I needed to begin, with deep and abiding gratitude, my journey to freedom, authenticity and love.